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She Can't Get That At Home part 9

Jane stretched out her long legs and laid down on the roof of her parents house with one arm behind her head and the other resting on her stomach. It had been two weeks since she was released from the hospital. Her hands were healed enough that she could take the bandages off but would still take up to six months of physical therapy to get full mobility back in them. Which meant six months of desk work. Not that she had even been back to work yet, she still had another two weeks before captain would even consider letting her come back and that was after the psyche evaluation. She had been going to both physical and mental therapy everyday since the ‘incident’ as everyone was calling it and needless to say she hated every minute of it.

Physical therapy was filled with frustration and pain, she couldn’t even squeeze a damn ball without screaming in pain, she had only just gotten to the point where she could wiggle her fingers and it only hurt a little. She always left in a terrible mood. Regular therapy consisted mostly of Jane staring down her therapist with her arms crossed over her chest for the entirety of the hour she was there. She had no desire whatsoever to talk about what had happened all she wanted to do was put it behind her and never think of it again.

It seemed as if everyone was hell bent on doing the exact opposite. All she ever got was sympathetic looks, and people watching her to make sure she wasn’t going to breakdown at any minute. She wasn’t though, that was exactly what Hoyt wanted and she would not give him that, he had already taken to much from her. Hoyt had broken her and destroyed the reputation that she had so carefully built for herself. Before everyone saw her as one of the guys, strong and confident. Now she had been attacked by this man simply because she was a woman no one would ever see her as Detective Rizzoli anymore, she was officially Jane Rizzoli the victim.

She laughed softly shaking her head as she remembered the conversation she had had with her former partner. How ironic it was that she told him she didn’t want to be the victim of spousal abuse and this was so much worse. People definitely couldn’t know about it now not after this. She had to hold on to some shred of dignity. Not that she had much left. Since she moved back in her parents house she had been itching to get out and get her own place but it was a lot easier said than done. Since she could hardly move her hands she wasn’t exactly fit to take care of a five year old on her own. Jane hated asking anyone for help but she had to for even the simplest of task.

Jane shook her head smiling when she heard the very familiar clicking of heals. She knew without looking at her watch that it must be seven. Maura came to see her everyday at seven and stayed until exactly ten. In the weeks she had been at her mothers they hadn’t even so much as kissed. Maura was staying true to what she had told Jane in the morgue that day. It was starting to really irritate her though, this divorce was getting messy and it could take months to finalize everything which meant months wasted with Maura. She was doing her best to respect her friends wishes though and she enjoyed the company Maura provided as well as the help.

Maura looked up and waved at Jane, “Jane are you sure that’s safe?” her friend asked Jane could hear the concern in her voice.

Jane shrugged. “I’ve been doing this since I was a kid.”

“When you were a child did you have full use of your hands?”

Jane rolled her eyes trying to push away the annoyance and hurt she felt. She knew it was stupid but why did everyone have to treat her like she couldn’t do anything?

“Just get your ass up here and stop worrying about me.” Jane snapped a little more harshly than she meant to. Maura stared at her for a long moment before turned and continued to walk up the path not even bothering to knock on the door. Five minutes later Maura was laying beside her to close for a platonic friendship and yet not close enough to be considered anything more.

“How was your day?” Maura asked gently.

Jane shrugged and turned her head so she was looking at Maura. “Horribly boring, your’s?”

“Lonely.” Maura sighed. Jane nodded and turned back so that she was staring at the sky again. She couldn’t help but wonder if they would ever be the way they used to be. She sighed and scooted a little closer to her friend until their arms were touching.

“How’s Jax been today?”

Jane smiled, thinking of how she had the sweetest son any mother could ever have, “He’s been great as usually. You know he can’t cook right? Or at least if he tries to work the stove without me he will get in trouble?”

Maura nodded.

“Well this morning I woke up to find him sitting on my bed staring at me with plate full of toast in his lap. He told me that he would have made me eggs but they wouldn’t fit in the toaster.” Jane laughed shaking her head at the memory.

“I have no idea what I would do without him.” She said glancing over at Maura who was laughing quietly. Maura met Jane’s gaze and smiled softly. Jane sat up and leaned over so that her face was only a few inches from Maura’s Jane brought her hand up to caress Maura’s cheek as best she could. Maura laid there not daring to make a move part of her wanted more than anything for Jane to kiss her but the other part knew she had to stick to her word because if she didn’t would she ever really leave her husband? As jane leaned in further Maura turned her head to the right just a little but enough for Jane to get the message.

“Jane.” Maura’s voice was hardly above a whisper. “Please.”

Jane nodded and fell back to her original position. “I miss you.” She said simply he eyes where back on the stars as she spoke.

“I haven’t gone anywhere Jane.” Maura said not truly understanding what Jane meant.

“Yeah you kind of have.”

Maura was about to reply when she heard heavy footsteps coming up the walkway. Jane sat up again so she could see who is was. Vince walked through the doors of the Rizzoli household without even so much as a knock he had another man fallowing closely behind him. Jane scrambled to her feet and was through the window before Maura had a chance to get up.

They found Vince and the unfamiliar man sitting at the kitchen table with her mother, father and brothers on the other side of the kitchen staring him down with their arms crossed.

“Mrs. Rizzoli you look very beautiful tonight.” Angelia nodded her thanks coldly.

“What are you doing here?” Jane snapped.

“I came to see you. Can we talk… alone?”

Jane nodded and motioned for him to fallow her into the other room. Though she knew without a doubt her family would be listening on the other side of the door.

“I wanted to give you one more chance to come back to me. I won’t be angry with you Jane, I promise. I know how much you’ve been through and I forgive you for sleeping with Maura.”

Jane shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Seriously Vince? How many times do I have to telll you no?”

Vince nodded and for a moment Jane was surprised he was going to give up just like that. “Bill.” He called raising his voice. The man who had come in with him appeared at his side and handed Jane a small stack of papers. With a very confused look Jane took them and read the first lines.

“You’re suing me for custody of my son?” Jane asked outraged.

“Full custody of our son Jane. You see it can’t possibly be healthy for him to live with his mentally unfit mother and her dyke partner. You see Jane whatever happened in that basement that night must have really screwed with your mind and there is no way you can take care of a five year old without having some lasting damage on him.”

Vince laughed. “You can’t even tie the boys shoes. So here is the deal, you come back to me or I will take Jax from you and you will never see him again.”

Jane was so angry she almost couldn’t speak… almost. “You don’t even care about him! You haven’t called or stopped by to see your son in the past three weeks. All we are to you is property I’m not a wife and he’s not a son we are things that you think you own. But you don’t, I will never go back to you and you will never take Jaxon from me.” She practically yelled at him poking him in the chest to make her point. The last poke though Vince grabbed her arm.

“Watch me.” He growled throwing her backwards so that she fell against one of the side tables. Hearing the breaking of glass sent both of her brothers into the living room. Tommy got to Vince first and had him against the wall by the neck. With Frankie Jr on one side and Frank on the other.

“You ever touch my sister again Vinny and I’m going to test out some of those things I learned in prison. Now how about you run along like a good little boy.” Tommy said letting go of Vince who was gasping for air. Vince glared at the other man and straitened up his suit.

“She’s nothing but a whore anyways.” Vince spat.

Frankie who had had enough of this guy in the past couple of months pulled his fist back and connected it with Vince’s jaw, hard.

“I might be best to do like Tommy asked you to Vincent darling and do so quietly.” Angela said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Vincent shot each of the Rizzoli’s another glare before he and his lawyer made a swift exit.

Jane stood up with her head down she pushed passed her family and ran up the stairs two at a time completely humiliated by what had happened tonight and more than a little worried about that possibility of never seeing her son again. With that in mind she walked strait passed her room and into Frankie’s old bedroom that Jax was occupying. She crawled into the bed and pulled Jax into her arms.

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!! And I am very sorry for the extremely long wait on this chapter. I've been working like crazy lately and just got a week off so maybe if you guys are lucky you will get an update before the 1st but I'm also going to be spending tons of time with my family. so... yeah lol I will do my bestest:)

Writer's Block: Boldly going

Which fictional world would you choose to visit, and why?

Hogwarts and the Rizzoli and Isles set :D

Or maybe just angie Harmon's bedroom... with her in the bed... um... yeah lol that sounds great.

Can't Get That At Home 8/?

Maura was tired, her eyes heavy with sleep she sighed and laid her head on Jane’s thigh she closed her eyes but her mind wouldn’t shut off. More than once she went to grab Jane’s hand but stopped herself just in time and every time she did she would look down at the beautiful gauze wrapped hands and her heart would break all over again. She had never in her life been more scared than she was when Jane lay pinned to the floor begging for her to get them out of her.

Seeing Jane like that, seeing her so broken had been horrible. She felt her eyes tear up just thinking about it, over the past couple of hours since she had arrived at the hospital with Jane she went over everything in her mind over and over again. What if they hadn’t made it there in time and the very last thing Maura had ever done to Jane was deny her love? She couldn’t even imagine her life without Jane in it. Her heart hurt. Scientifically she knew that wasn’t probable but she felt it as strong as anything she ever felt before.

Jane’s leg shifted under Maura’s head and she moaned in pain, Maura’s head shot up and she watched Jane until the detective opened her eyes. She looked over at Maura and smiled slightly, Maura returned it rubbing Jane’s leg lightly.

“Where am I?” Jane asked looking around.

Maura patted Jane’s leg trying to offer her some kind of comfort. “In the hospital Jane.”

“What the hell hap-” Jane stopped and brought her hands up in front of her examining them for a few seconds deep frown on her face, tears began to well up in her eyes. “Oh.” She said softly dropping her hands and looking out the window.

“I was hoping it was a dream a very bad one but just a dream.” Jane admitted.

“How do you feel?” Maura asked softly trying her best to keep her voice steady.

“Like I was just pinned to the ground with scalpels and nearly raped.” Jane tried joking half-heartily.

“Jane you really shouldn’t-”

“Joke about it? Would you rather me cry and pour my heart out to you because it’s either or and I don’t really feel up for a crying fest.”

Maura nodded and curled her legs up underneath her. “What are you doing here Maura?” the words were cutting and harsh. Maura blinked back more tears reminding herself with what Jane had just been through she had every right to be snippy. She nodded and stood up placing a kiss on Jane’s forehead.

“Goodbye Jane.” Maura said softly Jane’s arm shot up to grab Maura’s wrist to stop her before she cried out in pain. Maura whirled back around and was at Jane’s side in a matter of seconds.

“Are you okay? Do you need the doctor to up your medication?” Maura asked her voice was on the edge of panic.

“No I just need you to stay okay? I’m sorry I shouldn’t snap at you like that but you…. I-” Jane paused looking down at her gauze covered hands. “I’m just really sorry… for everything you know?”

Maura nodded and gave Jane a small smile. “I forgive you Jane for everything.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jane spoke up again. “So does my family know yet?”

Maura nodded, “Your parents were here earlier but they went home to get some clothes and to put Jax to bed I’m sure your mom will-”

“You didn’t let him see me like this did you?” Jane’s eyes where wide with horror at the thought of her son seeing her in such a state. Maura shook her head.

“I don’t want you to let him in here Maura.” She said swallowing back tears.

“Jane he’s going to want to see his mother soon.”

“I don’t care keep him the hell out of here Maura I must look terrible Jax should never have to see me like this. He needs to think I can protect him.”

Maura frowned. “You can protect him.”

She shook her head dark hair falling into her face. “Obviously not.” Jane snapped showing her hands to Maura.

Maura knew there wasn’t much she could say or do to make Jane understand that none of this was her fault so she just folded her arms over her chest and looked at the other woman. “I won’t let your parents bring him in here.”

“Thank you.” Jane said looking Maura in the eyes. Both women jumped when the door of Jane’s hospital room swung open. Standing in the doorway was a very worried looking Vince. He rushed in a pushed himself inbetween Maura and Jane. Maura backed up against the wall trying not to listen.

“Jane, thank go you’re okay. I only just heard about it.” Vince said in a rushed voice. He took Jane’s hand in his own either missing or not caring when she gasped in pain.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me.”

“I’m sorry Vincent we’ve been so worried about Jane.” Maura answered for her friend but Vince ignored her. Instead he kissed Jane on the cheek.

“About yesterday Jane…” He trailed off looking from her face to her hands. “I understand, and I’m completely forgive you.”

Jane scoffed. “Forgive me? For what?”

“For saying you wanted a divorce I get that you’ve been stressed with work and everything so all is forgiven.” He smiled really big at her and lightly squeezed her hand.

“Get the fuck out.” Jane practically growled giving him her famous Rizzoli death glare.

“What? Why Jane?”

Maura watched Jane carefully noticing how she was starting to shake in anger, the monitor that showed Jane’s heartbeat picking up on speed. “I have nothing to be sorry for the divorce is still on and always will be I don’t love you.”

They stared one another down for what seemed like forever Jane’s hand still in Vince’s. When he did finally speak his voice dripped with anger and malice. “Mark my words Jane you will regret this.” he said before squeezing her hand hard. Jane gasped and bit her lip when the dull pain changed to a sharp one. Vince left the hospital room leaving a very shocked Maura behind him. Maura was back at Jane’s side in a second gently as possible unwrapping the gauze from Jane’s now bleeding hand. They sat in silence as Maura cleaned the wound, when she was done she found some more gauze and began to wrap her hand up again.

“He’s done this before hasn’t he.” She asked lightly but Jane could hear the anger in her voice.

“No.” Jane answered shortly.

“Don’t lie to me Jane I’ve seen your wrist and I’m not stupid.”

Jane sighed, “Yeah it happened the other day and it’s not a big deal.”

“Is that why you’re leaving him?”

“No.”

“Then why? Why did you suddenly decide that you want a divorce.”

“You really don’t want to know.”

Maura shook her head as she finished what she was doing and leaned back in the chair, she stared up at Jane. “Yes I do, I need to know.”

“We slept together.” Jane whispered avoiding Maura’s eyes she took a deep breath. “And all I could think about was you. What you were doing. How you did this or that differently it was awkward and uncomfortable.”

“Oh.” Maura said looking down at her hands.

“You’re angry.” Jane replied.

“No I’m not Jane, he is after all you’re husband I have no right to be angry with you.”

Jane shook her head. “Yes you do, I screwed this up and I’m so sorry I just hope one day you can forgive me.”

Maura smiled sadly and kissed Jane on the cheek. “There is nothing to forgive Jane. If anything it is I who should be asking for forgiveness.”

“That’s just ridicules.” Jane said with a small smile which Maura returned with a shrug. With that smile Maura was sure that they were going to be okay, despite everything they had been through they would make it. Even if it was just as friends as opposed to lovers. Jane and Maura were going to make it.

Can't Get That At Home 7/?

Jane did in fact get to the house before Korsak but she also wasn’t just going to sit on her heals and wait while this guy did more damage to whatever poor woman he had with him. It just wasn’t in her nature, she got out of her car gun poised and ready to shoot when she saw the bastard. After kicking down the door she found a man in his early forties dead and tied to a chair. A broken teacup on next to his bound feet on the floor.

Jane checked the rest of the house found no one in it and went to circle the perimeter. As she stepped out the back door , she shivered against the cold briefly wondering what Maura was doing tonight. She shook the thought away and focused on the task at hand as she made her way around the house she spotted a cellar. She could hear a muffled sobbing coming from the wooden doors. Briefly she looked over her shoulder for back up, Jane knew that she shouldn’t go any further without Korsak but how long was he going to be?

She put her gun back in it’s holster long enough to pull the doors open it was back in her hand in a flash, her heart was beating hard and fast against her chest adrenalin pumping madly through he body. When she got down to the bottom of the stairs and saw the victim still alive relief flooded through her so strong she didn’t even bother to look around. And that’s when everything went black.

_____________________________________________________________________

When she finally came to before she even opened her eyes the first thing she noticed was the intense burning pain in both of her palms and something heavy on her midsection. She tried to move her hands but when she did fresh waves of pain shot through her palms and up her arms. They where pined to something on either side of her head. She wanted nothing more than to scream but something told her not to.

“Jane… Jane” Someone called softly she could feel whoever it was breathing against her cheek, his breath smelt horrible. Cold metal slid against her cheek and finally Jane opened her eyes, she moaned in fear her breathing started to escalate. It was him they guy they had been looking for. She turned her head as best she could to look at one hand and then the other scalpels held them down to the floor. She knew right then that her hands would never, ever feel the same again, if she even lived through this.

Oh god, she thought, I’m going to die tonight. What if she did die? She hadn’t told her son goodbye when she left her mothers house in the haste to the house. She hadn’t even seen him since she dropped him off there that morning. What was he going to do without her? Grow up with a father who neglected him ninety percent of the time so that he could screw women half his age. Jane knew Vincent most likely wouldn’t ever take him to see her parents or Maura who Jax loved so much.

And Maura what about her? They hadn’t exactly left things on good terms and now they would never be. Maura would go on through life hating Jane for all the wrong she had done the other woman. She hated the idea of Maura hating her it made her sick and so sad and that was how it was going to be if she didn’t somehow survive this. She couldn’t see anyway out of it Jane was trapped and she was going to die.

Hands moved roughly up Jane’s body groping her breast hard, his scalpel moved down her cheek to her neck and pressed it into her skin more pain joined that in her hands as he made a cut almost halfway across her neck. Jane pulled with what little strength she had but with no luck at all not even the tinniest bit. She was really starting to panic now.

“I’m going to take my time with you Janie. I’m going to give you exactly what you deserve.” he laughed cruelly.

She fought harder against the scalpels that held her to the floor, shaking her head back and forth. Tears that she couldn’t hold back anymore slid down her cheeks. She was panicking so badly she didn’t hear the cellar doors bang open or the footsteps that hurried down the stairs. She didn’t notice Korsak’s presence until two loud gunshots rang through the air and Hoyt fell off of Jane. Korsak ran over to her bent down at her side.

“It hurts… it hurts.” She cried.

“I know Janie, you’re okay now everything is okay.” Korsak whispered.

There was clicking of heals and then Maura was at her other side. “Oh god Jane.”

“Please… Maura get them out.” Jane begged

Tears welled up in Maura’s eyes as she held Jane’s face with both of her hands and whipped away Jane’s own tears. “I am so sorry Jane… There is nothing I can do if I take these out they could do more damage to the nerves.”

A scream ripped through Jane’s throat without her permission, she hated this. She hated how weak she must seem, how stupid she was for not making sure the cellar was clear. How was she ever going to face Maura and Korsak after this?

“God… Damn it Maura I don’t care just get them the hell out of me.” she sobbed.

Maura shook her head, she had no idea what to do, She wanted to give in to Jane’s request but she knew that if she didn’t Jane would thank her for it later. If she took them out it could make her recovery longer and more painful. So Maura did the only thing she knew to get Jane’s mind off the pain, she kissed her. Softly Maura moved her lips over Jane’s. Right now the rule she had given the other woman didn’t matter. Kissing released endorphins and endorphins help relieve pain.

She pulled back kissed Jane’s forehead and then her cheeks. “I cannot do that Jane.” she said firmly The detective bit her lip and nodded doing her best to hold back the moans of pain for Maura’s sake.

Maura looked over at Korsak who was cutting the tap that bound the other woman’s arms and legs “The paramedics are on there way about five minutes out.” He said answering the question she was about to ask.

“Did you here that Jane?” Maura asked smoothing Jane’s hair of her face. “Just five more minutes and we’ll get you up.”

Jane nodded her eyes wide and fearful. “Don’t leave me.” she asked her voice broke as she looked into Maura’s eyes.

“I won’t I promise.”

A/N: Okay so not nearly as long as the last chapter but I got it out in one day! Even though this was really hard to write. Lol Feedback is always greatly appreciated so please let my know what you think?

Can't Get That At Home 6/?

“What the hell do you mean you want a divorce?” Vince exclaimed after he jumped out of bed and started to get dressed.

Jane finished buttoning up her shirt and went to get a pair of socks out of her top drawer. “I mean exactly what one means when they say they want a divorce. We need to quit kidding ourselves Vince this has been coming for a very long time.”

“After last night you seriously want to end a ten year marriage.”

Jane laughed humorlessly tying her shoes. “Last night is what helped me come to this decision Vince.”

Vince glared at her. “Yeah well you seemed to think differently while you where moaning beneath me.”

Jane’s laugh was cut short as she met her husbands death glare with one of her own. “Then damn Vinny I must be a better actress than I though because I most certainly didn’t get any enjoyment out of that! I didn’t even cum Vincent but I guess you wouldn’t notice since you’re always so wrapped up in yourself or what the fuck ever her name is.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Jane I’ve been completely faithful to you.” Vince said and Jane had to give him credit he was pretty good at lying but she was Jane and he was Vince she knew this man probably better than he knew himself.

Another humorless laugh escaped her lips and she threw her hands up in frustration. “I’m a fucking detective if I didn’t know you were screwing anything and everything in a skirt I would be pretty shitty at my job wouldn’t I? So let me ask you this Vincent… was she worth it? Was she worth loosing your wife and son?”

Vince crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know Jane I could ask you the same thing about that medical examiner “friend” of yours.”

Jane’s jaw dropped her eyes widening how did he know? How could he possibly know about what happened between her and Maura?

“Yeah… Janie I’ve known for a while now like you said I wouldn’t be good at my job if I didn’t know now would I.” He crossed the room in a few quick strides and got impossibly close to Jane invading her personal space she brought a hand up to firmly push him away from her but he grabbed in roughly and yanked her against him.

“If you divorce me Jane I will take everything from you. I promise you that much dyke.” he let go of her arm pushing her with such a force that she fell against the wall her head hitting it with a loud thunk. Jane couldn’t even react as he left the room, he had never once done anything remotely violent like what had just transpired. He had never even threatened her, he didn’t even condone spanking Jaxon. As Jane slid down the wall into a seating position she found herself wondering what the hell happened to the sweet guy she married.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Jane steeped into the elevator subconsciously pulling down the sleeves of her shirt to cover the dark purple bruise that formed on her wrist. After what happened in their bedroom Vince left before Jane could recover enough to give her a piece of his mind as well as a few bruises of her own. Jane took a long gulp from her coffee cup and closed her eyes tightly. When had she become this woman? The one who doesn’t beat the hell out of a man who laid a hand on her. The old Jane would have had Vincent on his knees in a matter of seconds.

“Wait! Hold the elevator!” came the unmistakable voice of Maura fallowed by clicking of heals. Jane put her hand out just in time to stop the doors from closing The blonde stepped in out of breath. nodded her thanks to Jane and turned her back to the other woman closing her eyes tight. If she would have known Jane was in this elevator she really wouldn’t have tried to get on it. Being in such close proximity to the detective was never a good idea.

Jane took a deep breath, she was going to tell Maura that her and Vince were getting a divorce and that they could be together for real this time.

“Maura I-” Maura turned around swiftly and stopped Jane from getting out the rest of what she had to say as her lips crashed against Jane’s forcefully her hands found her hips and slid up over Jane’s flat stomach. Jane breathed deeply through her nose as she deepened the kiss by nipping on Maura’s bottom lip. How nice it was to kiss Maura again, to feel her hands all over Jane’s body. The elevator dinged and Maura ended the kiss just as quickly as she had started it and left Jane shocked and breathless without a word.

Jane was having none of that though she recovered in time to pick up her coffee cup that she dropped and slide out of the closing elevator doors to fallow Maura into the morgue. When Jane entered Maura looked up at her expectantly like she hadn’t just kissed and groped Jane in the elevator.

“Is there something you wanted detective?”

Jane stared at her open mouthed, she shook her head. “I… Tell me that just happened and it wasn’t my very over active imagination.” Jane said though she knew it wasn’t true she could taste Maura’s chap stick on her lips.

“If you are referring the that kiss we just shared than yes Detective it did just happen, and I am very sorry. I have no idea what came over me.”

Jane rolled her eyes in frustration. “Stop calling me detective.”

Maura tilted her head to the side and wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Why? That’s what you are isn’t it?”

“Well, I mean yeah I am but you haven’t called me that since your first week here. I’m your friend Maura.”

“Jane you haven’t spoken to me about anything other than work for the past month. I think it’s safe to say that we are nothing more than coworkers now.”

“I asked him for a divorce Maura.” Jane said trying her best to ignore the cold tone Maura’s voice had taken on.

For a second Jane thought she saw a flicker of hope pass over Maura’s expression but she blinked and it was gone later she would wonder if she had just been making things up. After a few long moments when Maura didn’t answer she continued.

“It means we can be together now. I mean really together Maura. I can take you on dates and kiss you in public.”

Maura looked over at Jane and pursed her lips. “Come back when you have signed the papers Jane.”

“Maura… I miss you. I miss your presence in my life, I miss you always being there. I just miss my best friend.”

“I’m sorry Jane, I’m really sorry for kissing you. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to kiss you again until your divorced so. Come see me when you’ve taken care of that.”

Jane gazed sadly at Maura as she turned her back to her, she knew she had been dismissed but she couldn’t bring herself to leave.

“Jane… please”

She nodded, though Maura couldn’t see it and left. She arrived in the bullpen at the same time as Korsak who was caring two cups of coffee. “Please tell me that one of those are for me.” Jane all but begged her ex partner.

Korsak nodded and Jane reached out for the cup completely forgetting the concealed bruise on her wrist. Her shirt sleeve pulled up just enough for him to get a glimpse of it. Jane jerked her hand back and pulled the sleeves down.

“What was that?” he asked narrowing her eyes at her. He took her hand and pulled up the sleeve of her shirt before Jane could stop him.

“Did Vince do this?” Korsak asked his voice laced with anger.

“Look he didn’t mean to. That was the first time anything has happened and it won’t happen again okay? I’m divorcing him, when I told him he grabbed my arm end of story.”

“You need to tell someone.”

Jane snatched her arm away. “I will not be a victim got that Korsak? I tell someone that my husband did this and instantly this reputation I’ve built for myself is gone. They will all think I’m weak, I will not have that! So please don’t say anything. I have it under control.”

“Okay Jane but if I see anything else.”

“I’ll understand.” Jane said softly she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Look I’m going home for a bit I’ve got to set some things in order. Call me if we get anything?”

______________________________________________________________

It only took Jane all day to get all of her and Jax’s things packed up. She loaded everything she could in the trunk of her cruiser making sure she had enough clothes and toys to keep Jax entertained until she could get the guys to help her move the rest of her things. She could do it herself but she really didn’t want to be alone with Vincent again. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel like she could handle him alone because she knew that she definitely could but she didn’t want to give him the chance.

She didn’t really want to go back to her parents but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Frankie certainty didn’t have enough room for her in his two bedroom bachelor pad that he shared with one of his cop buddies and Maura made it clear where she stood when it came to the two of them. So she swallowed her pride and knocked on her parents door. Angela answered the door and smiled brightly at her daughter.

“Jax is in the living room watching some movie with your father he’s been so-” She stopped short noticing the suitcase in Jane’s hand.
“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you about it if you let me in. Can I stay with you for a while until I get my own place?” She asked as she pushed past her mother.

“Yes of course Janie.” She said patting Jane on the shoulder. “You can take your old room and Jax can have Frankie’s.”

Jane nodded and headed up the stairs to put her stuff away. When she got back she sat at the kitchen table across from her mom.

“Okay explain.” said Angela as she sat a glass of water in front of Jane.

“Ma’ there is nothing to explain we’ve been fighting a lot lately and…” She trailed off looking down at her hands.

“And you’ve been sleeping with Maura.”

“Ma!” Exclaimed Jane.

“What you have been haven’t you?”

Jane groaned in frustrated. “Did everyone know?”

“Your father doesn’t.”

“I didn’t cheat first… And I’m in love with her Ma’” Confessed Jane. Whatever Angela was about to say was cut off by Jane’s phone going off.

“Rizzoli.” Jane answered.

“We’ve got him Jane. Lady said she saw a man fitting the guy’s go into her neighbors house about two hours ago.”

“Why the hell didn’t we find out about this sooner he could be gone!” Jane exclaimed snatching her keys up from the countertop.

“I don’t know… I’m texting you the address if you get there before me do not go in without back up.”

“I won’t.” Jane answered shortly.

“I mean it Rizzoli.”

“I said I won’t.” Jane snapped, closing her phone. She kissed her mother on the cheek. “Tell Jax I’ll be home as soon as I can okay?”

Angela nodded and watched her daughter leave with a frown. For some reason she had a very bad feeling about Jane leaving.

A/N: Okay so I better be getting some mad feedback from this because not only did I get it up super quickly but it’s also three words from the 2000 mark so you know you wanna leave me tons and tons of love… Please? Next chapter we get to the gooood stuff that I was heavily foreshadowing in this chapter :D

Can't Get That At Home 5/?

But does she love you Like she loves me?
Does she think of you When she's holding me?



Maura leaned against her desk , trying not to think, trying her best to forget. It had been a month since she had spoken to Jane about anything other than dead bodies. The detective had been going out of her way to avoid Maura. There was no teasing or flirting over whomever she happened to have on her autopsy table, no drinks at the dirty robber. Not even a friendly lunch. Maura found herself missing her friendship with Jane more than her sexual relationship with the other woman. Sure she still woke up at night aching with need after a very dirty dream, but she missed the friendship much more.

Frost came down to the morgue for lunch almost everyday to keep her company and while she enjoyed the friendly presence it wasn’t the same, not by a long shot. He was carefully not to tease her to much , so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings. Jane had never been like that she teased to no end and then apologized if it hurt Maura’s feelings. She knew he meant well though.

She heard her doors slide open and for a moment her heart rate picked up a little thinking that maybe it was Jane but when she looked up she smiled sadly at Frost who was carrying a large brown paper bag and two bottles of water. He smiled brightly at her and held up the things he was carrying setting them down on her desk.

“What’s up doc?”

“Good afternoon Barry.” She replied trying not to sound to disappointed. Frost raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about her tone. He handed her a salad and took a seat in the extra chair that was normally occupied buy Jane.

“She’s just as bad off as you, just so you know.” he said simply looking Maura in the eyes. Maura nodded once and brought something else up as they continued to eat their lunch. She didn’t want to talk about Jane anymore Frost brought her up a little to often for her liking. They talked about Frost’s girlfriend for a bit, Maura could tell he was smitten with her by the way he smiled and how his eyes shined when he talked about their weekend spent together.

She had to change the subject from his girlfriend pretty soon as well. Maura was a little more than jealous over how happy her friend was. She knew it wasn’t rational but if she had learned anything during her time with Jane it was that emotions rarely held any rationality. When they were done eating Frost stood up, said his good byes with a promise to bring lunch tomorrow and then left Maura alone in her quiet morgue. The rest of the day drug on since apparently murders were taking a holiday and she didn’t have any bodies to autopsy she spent the better half of the afternoon online shopping.

Finally at six she decided to call it a day packed up her things and left. Like she had most nights she went out of her way to walk past Jane’s desk just to catch a glimpse of her but the other woman was already gone.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Mommy!” Jax yelled as Jane walked through the door before she could even sit her stuff down Jax launched himself into her arms. Jane laughed quietly and hugged him close to her savoring his warmth it was moments like these that it really hit her how much she loved her son, of course she always knew she loved him but sometimes it snuck up on her kind of like a tidal wave.

“Hey buddy.” Jane smiled for the first time in what felt like forever. “Where is your daddy?”

Jax shrugged and pointed at the back door. “He said he’s firing up the grill to make some bitching hamburgers.”

Jane laughed and shook her head at her son, thinking about how bad they really needed to watch what they said when he was in earshot. “Don’t say that word Jax.” She scolded him

“Don’t say what?”

“Bitching.”

“Why?”

Jane let out a huff of hair and looked down at him. “Because if you do Nonni Rizzoli will wash your mouth out with soap.”

“But you and daddy say words like that all the time.” He pointed out

“That would be because we are adults when you get big like us you can say all the bad words you want.” She explained as she stepped out the back door to find Vince at the grill he looked up from what he was cooking a grinned at her.

“Hey sweet cheeks.” he leaned over and kissed her on the lips Jane raised an eyebrow at him for the kiss and the nickname he hadn’t called her in years but he took no notice to it just flipped the burgers while whistling.

“How was work today?”

Jane sighed and fell into the chair closest to her husband. “Jax why don’t you go play?” She asked him gently he nodded and ran off to his swing set.

“That bad huh?” he asked Jane nodded.

“We aren’t any closer to finding this surgeon guy. I’ve just I don’t know what to do.” Jane said looking up into Vince’s dark eyes wishing they were the Maura’s hazel ones. Jane wasn’t entirely comfortable talking to Vince about her work or anything at all really. There had been a time when she could share anything in the world with her husband but he was, as her coworkers often joked about, the enemy. He briefly looked up before switching the grill off and walking behind Jane. She jumped a little when she felt his hands on her shoulders.

“Jane relax for a minute I’m not going to bite you.” he laughed while he rubbed her shoulders. Jane did as he asked but not completely and stiffened up almost immediately when he dropped a kiss on her neck. He must not have noticed Jane’s reaction because he kissed her again.

“How about after dinner we put Jax to bed early and have a little fun.” He asked

Jane tried her best to smile up at him this was after all what she wanted right? She wanted her husband to take an interest in her again and here he was doing it… so why was it that she felt like she wanted to throw up a the mention of sex with him?

__________________________________________________________________________

Jane didn’t sleep at all that night so when her alarm rang at six in the morning she immediately turned it off and rolled over in bed so that she was facing Vincent and waited for him to wake up. After only a few moments his eyes fluttered open and a sleepy smile appeared on his face he tried to pull her to him and kiss her but Jane put a hand to his chest to stop him.

“Morning.” He said his voice gravely with sleep Jane pursed her lips and studied him for a long time before she opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. She knew that what she was about to say would change everything maybe for the best but maybe for the worst either way Jane didn’t know but she couldn’t go throughout life not knowing.

“I think we should get a divorce.” Jane said before she rolled out off bed and started getting ready for the work.

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night



A/N: Happy now? lol finally she asks for a divorce I wonder what Vince's and Maura's reactions will be!? Ah well guess you're going to have to comment to find out sooner.

But seriously sorry for the wait I found out I have a sister the other day and my mind has been on finding her and not writing... I also have a job now. but I will get the next chapter up asap!

Writer's Block: Sticks and stones

What is the worst insult you've ever received from someone? Were you able to forgive them?


I don't know if this counts or not but a couple of months ago I was teasing my cousin while we where in walmart just doing stuff like bumping her shoulder and pushing her playfully. After I started poking her she looked at me with this serious expression and said "I'm not that way" (I am gay) and all I could do was just stare at her, I don't know if she was kidding or not but it hurt my feelings pretty bad but also pissed me off.

Can't Get That At Home part 4

He wants to keep her, but he loves her enough to let her go.
What a shame, she can't, get that at home...


“Rizzoli, we need to talk.” Frost said with a very serious look on his face. Jane raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for him to have a seat in the chair that was more often than not occupied by Maura. He looked like he was struggling to get out whatever it was that he wanted to say so she took a little sympathy on him and gave him an encouraging smile.

“I know about you and Dr. Isles.” He said after a few long moments. “In fact quite a few people know around the station well they suspect at least.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Jane said looking away from him at her computer screen trying in vain to will him away with her mind. It didn’t work.

“Okay whatever you say Jane but I just wanted to tell you what you’re doing… Stringing her along like this. It isn’t fair to her.”

“You have no idea what goes on between Maura and I.” Jane snapped.

“Maybe so… Maybe you love her Rizzoli but you are married loving Maura doesn’t change that. I’m not judging you or anything I just want you to know that you’re doing more harm than good.”

Jane groaned running her hands through her hair. “The thing is Frost you kind of are judging me you don’t know what my marriage is like. You don’t know anything about me.”

“You are right I don’t know anything about you but I know a lot about Maura and I know that she’s hurting Jane. She might not let you know it but the affair the two are having is taking a toll on her.”

She looked up at her partner with a frown. “She talks to you?”

Frost nodded and Jane looked at him for what seemed like forever before she stood and left at her desk. She took the elevator down to the morgue. Maura was standing at her desk gathering her things and putting them in her purse. When Jane walked in Maura looked up and gave her a beautiful bright smile.

“Hello Jane.” She said. “I was just packing up to leave would you like to get drinks tonight?”

“No.” Jane answered somewhat bluntly as she closed the distance between them she gathered a hurt looking Maura into her arms and kissed her on the lips biting down hard on the other woman’s lips, she hug her fingers in Maura’s hips when they pulled away Jane placed another short soft kiss on Maura’s lips.

“What was that?” Maura laughed breathlessly.

“I…” Jane trailed off tracing Maura’s jaw line with her thumb she took a deep breath and kissed her again before she continued.

“I release you Maura.” Said Jane as if to demonstrate she dropped her hands by her side and took a couple of steps back.

“I don’t understand.” her brows coming together in confusion.

“I mean Maura that you don’t… you’re free to be with whomever you wish.”

Slowly it dawned on Maura, she shook her head in disbelief tears welling up in her hazel. “You cannot break up with me.” Maura said like if she said the words than they would be true. She walked toward Jane and took Jane’s hands on her own.
“You just told me you love me Jane. I mean you just told me and now you’re breaking up with me.” Maura tried to meet Jane’s eyes but Jane wouldn’t look at her.

“Look at me Jane.” She pleaded squeezing Jane’s hands. She waited several seconds while Jane stared up at the ceiling. “Look at me damn it.” She snapped her voice full of rage it shocked Jane enough for her to meet Maura’s hazel eyes with her own. She had honestly never heard Maura sound so angry.

“I do love you and that’s why we can’t do this anymore.” she removed her hands from Maura’s and cupped her cheeks whipping away her tears. Jane kissed her, their lips barely bruising against one another and then Jane was gone before she could even open her eyes.
___________________________

Jane left work as soon as she possibly could she had been successfully avoiding Maura all day, sure that once she saw the beautiful blonde her resolve would crumble. This is something that had to be done, she kept telling herself over and over. Stringing Maura along like she had been was wrong. It wasn’t that she didn’t eventually plan on asking Vincent for a divorce she just couldn’t. Part of her was hoping that the man who she had fallen in love with when she was seventeen would come back to her.

That wasn’t going to happen though, if she was truthful with herself she would say that her marriage hadn’t been right since Vincent won his first case. How could you be with someone who did the exact opposite of you? Vincent got criminals off and he was damn good at it, she had never looked at him the same way after that. Jane sighed running her hands through her hair as she thought of a much simpler time. When she was just a girl who liked to rough it with the boys and Vincent was just a slightly nerdy very cute boy who always sought to include her.



Sixteen year old Jane Rizzoli threw her duffle bag over her shoulder with ease and nodded at one of her friends as she made her way down the hall to fifth period Spanish, her last and least favorite class of the day. In two short hours she would be on the field were she belonged, remembering that was the only thing that kept her from ditching.

Somebody bumped into her and she quickly whirled around to give whoever it was a piece of her mind only to find herself face to face with one of her closest friends. Vinny.

“My bad Rizzoli.” He smiled at her adjusting his glasses so that they sat higher on his nose.

“Watch where you’re going next time Luca.” She said with a hint of laughter in her voice. Jane had always for as long as she remembered had a certain soft spot for Vincent. It was something the rest of the guys teased her endlessly about.

“Sure thing Jane.” He winked just as Jane was about to turn around and continue walking down the hall Vincent grasped her wrist lightly.

“Hey can I ask you something?” He asked rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Jane’s dark eyes sparkled as she smiled at him.

“Ya’ kind of just did… but yeah go for it.”

Vincent rolled his eyes. “You know the dance is this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me… as my date.”

“That sounds awful.” Jane scoffed before she could stop herself.

Vincent laughed nervously. “Right totally awful anyways I’ll be on my way now.”

“Wait!” Jane said before he had the chance to leave. “I meant the dance part you know with the dress and makeup not going out with you part.” She paused and smiled at him.

“I would really like to go anywhere with you, just not the dance. ”

Vincent grinned widely showing his perfectly strait teeth. “Great I’ll pick you up at eight Saturday night?”

Jane nodded . “Where are you taking me?” She asked nudging him lightly with her shoulder.

“It’s a surprise Rizzoli… Just get pretty or whatever.”


A/N: I know you guys probably hate me but trust me they wont be apart for long. I can't just have Jane end her marriage without some serious thinking. It wouldn't be very realistic now would it? Maybe if she didn't have a son I could get away with it.

Can't Get That At Home part 3

After the lovin' , they lie there and talk for a while.
She loves how he listens, and he sure loves to see her smile.



The memory of their first time together was as fresh in Jane’s mind as what she had for lunch today, as she contemplated whether or not she should get Jax and leave like she had every other night she and Maura had sex but she could make herself look away from the beautiful woman beside her much less get dressed and leave.

“Don’t even think about it Jane.” Maura mumbled into the pillow

Jane laughed moving closer to Maura. “Think about what?”

Maura opened one eye and raised and eyebrow at her lover. “Leaving, your mine for the night.” She flipped over onto her back and looked over at Jane.

“That’s not what I was thinking about.” Jane said quietly. “But I thought you were asleep.”

“I was meditating.” She answered shortly. “What were you thinking about?”

“The first time we… did this.” She grinned as she pressed a kiss to the corner of Maura’s mouth.

“This first time we laid in bed together?” Questioned Maura

Jane laughed brushing a hair out of Maura’s eyes. “No, love about the first time we were together… together.”

“Oh,” Maura smiled “That was a very… surprising night.”

“Surprising?” Jane growled as she flipped Maura over and straddled her waist, their lips were almost touching.

“Is that all you’ve got for me?” She asked as she bit down on Maura’s neck earning a moan from the other woman. “Because as I recall I rocked your world that night.” She smirked.

Maura smiled sweetly up at her and with one swift movement she had Jane on her back with her hands over her head.


“How do you do that?” Gasped Jane Maura however ignored her.

“It was amazing…” Maura whispered and she kissed Jane chastely on the lips. “Spectacular…” she kissed the tip of Jane’s nose. “Extraordinary.” she said as she kissed Jane’s jaw line.

“Ya’ know a girl could get a big head with all these compliments.” Jane joked.

“Yeah well you deserve it because you’re a remarkable specimen.”

Jane’s mood fell at Maura’s words with a sigh she looked away from Maura and out the window. Maura was wrong, Jane wasn’t remarkable or any other synonyms she could come up with. Truth be told she was the opposite. Maura noticing the sudden change in Jane fell to her side.

“What’s wrong?” Maura asked gently smoothing out the lines that appeared on Jane’s eyebrow with the pad of the thumb.

“Do you ever…” Jane sighed and looked at Maura. “Do you ever feel like I’m using you? I mean are you unhappy Maura?”

“Honestly?” Maura asked.
Jane smiled at her. “Like you could lie to me.”

Maura shrugged. “I’m happy when I’m with you, like right now in this moment I’ve never been happier.”

“And when you’re not with me?” She asked as she brushed a piece of hair out of Maura’s eyes.

“When I’m not with you I feel so guilty and so insanely jealous, I’m not the jealous type Jane but he gets to touch you in public and he gets to wake up with you beside him every morning.” She paused and took Jane’s left hand in her own playing with the wedding band on her ring finger. She bit her lip trying to hold back tears.

“He gets to call you his wife. So I feel sad and jealous and sometimes very determined to end things with you but then you come over and you are all sexy and you say these things and I’m happy. It’s worth it to be with you.”

Jane pulled Maura closer to her hugging her tightly. “I love you.”

_____________________

When Jane woke up the next morning she stretched her arms across the bed wanting to pull Maura closer to her only to find out that the bed was empty and the sheets cold. She opened her eyes with a groan and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw that it was eleven. Jane hadn’t slept that late since she had been a teenager. She got up pulled on a t-shirt she found on the floor and stumbled out of Maura’s bedroom. She heard light laughter coming from the kitchen. When she walked in her heart nearly melted at the sight she was met with.

Maura stood in the kitchen her hair pulled up in a messy bun wearing a pair of Jane’s basketball shorts and a plain white tank top. Jaxon was sitting on the counter still in his pajamas with his dark hair sticking up everywhere. He was watching Maura dance around the kitchen while she cooked him breakfast with the biggest smile on his face.

Jane leaned against the wall watching the two people she loved most in the world interact. Maura was so good with her son it surprised her since Maura never felt very comfortable with people who were alive.

“Mommy!” Jax shouted waving enthusiastically at her.

“Hey buddy whatcha doing?” Jane asked kissing him on the forehead.

“Maura is making me pancakes really good pancakes better than daddy’s.”

Jane looked at Maura who was frowning at the mention of Vince and then back at her son. “That’s really great Jax why don’t you go get dressed and brush your teeth?”

“Okay.” grinned Jax as Maura helped him off the counter. Jane watched him until he was gone and advanced on Maura pressing her against the counter top she ran her hands down Maura’s body briefly skimming her breast earning her a moan. Jane brought her lips to Maura’s and kissed her hard, when she pulled back they stood catching their breath with their forehead’s pressed together.

“Not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy it but what was that for?” asked Maura.

“For being so amazing he loves you ya’ know?”

Maura shook her head and pulled out of Jane’s embrace. “I- I hoped he would but I’m usually very bad with children. Your son however is… very sweet and very intelligent for his age Jane you‘ve done a good job raising him.”

“Really you think so? Because I mean I know he’s a brilliant kid but but I‘m a little biased.” Jane smiled brightly at Maura.

“Ma! Can we have a picnic in the park today?” Jax asked as he ran into the kitchen.

“I don’t know I think Maura wanted to spend the day with us why don’t you ask her?” Jane said looking over at Maura.

“Maura do you want to go to the park with us?” asked Jax jumping up and down. Maura couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Of course.” she said flattening out his wild hair.

_________

Halfway through the picnic Jane’s phone ran with frost’s ring tone. Jane sighed and answered the phone completely missing the frown that had suddenly appeared on Jaxon’s face. He knew what that ring tone meant, it meant that his mother would be dropping him off at one of his grandparents house and going off to work. It was very annoying especially since he was having to much fun with Maura.

“Rizzoli.” Jane answered her tone showing that she was clearly annoyed. “Yeah… No she’s with me I’ll tell her…” Jane scolded at whatever was being said on the other end of the phone. “What the hell is that supposed to mean… whatever Frost.” Jane snapped the phone shut with a little to much force and looked at her son with a smile.

“Hey kiddo want to spend the rest of the day with Noni Luca?”

“Not one bit.” he replied with a huff Maura though she knew she shouldn’t couldn’t help but laugh, the kid was kind of a smart ass just like his mother. Jane glared at her.

“Well that’s to bad because she misses you and Maura and I have to go into work.”

Jax narrowed his eyes at his mother crossed his tiny little arms across his chest and stomped his foot. “No.”

Jane got down on one knee so that she could look him in the eye and grabbed his forearms gently Maura pretended to be interested in something off in the distance while Jane scolded her son. “Don’t tell me no Jaxon and you will be on you best behavior or you’ll spend this Saturday in your room.”

Jaxon shook his head eyes wide. “Okay fine fine!” He said quickly, Saturday night was the Red Sox/ Yankees game even at four years old he was completely in love with baseball.

Jane smiled and looked up at Maura who looked as if she was trying to not laugh. “Alright kiddo lets go.”


A/N: Ah so this is mostly a filler chapter for the good stuff that will be happening either in the next one chapter or the one after that still though I hope you like it and leave me some love porfavor?

Jealous and All That Jazz part 6/10

It took a week to get everything in order, but finally the plans where laid out they had the time off and Maura’s parents had given her the okay to use the beach house for a week. The guys had been mildly surprised t hat the two women where going on vacation together. She would be lying if she said there hadn’t been an usual amount of tension in the very few moments that they had spent together in the past month.

Though they had spent two nights together in the past week they had yet to have sex again. Part of Maura understood that it would take time to get back to the way they had been before but part of her, the part that was a slightly irrational woman felt insecure like somehow Jane was no longer sexually attracted to her. Maura knew that it was stupid to think that but she couldn’t help it.

The truth of the matter was though that Jane was scared. The day in the morgue was always in the back of her mind and while Maura may have forgiven her Jane had yet to forgive herself. The idea that she may loose control like that again made her keep her hands to herself and the kisses short. Did she long for Maura? Without a doubt. The uneasy feeling that she got when she saw the golden haired women was slowly ebbing away. She didn’t exactly trust Maura just yet but she didn’t feel like she wanted to throw up when she looked at her anymore.

Which was always a plus when you happen to love the woman. This therapy thing though was kind of freaking her out. She knew they needed to talk to someone and would do anything if it meant securing her future with Maura but Jane wasn’t the type to talk about things. She kept it all locked inside until all of a sudden she just burst. She couldn’t be that way with Maura though. Maura deserved better.

She took a deep breath and zipped up her suitcase thinking about the therapy session she and Maura had a couple of days before.

“So why don’t one of you tell us a little about your relationship.” Dr. Andrews suggested after a long stretch of silence. Maura looked at Jane silently asking her if it was okay that she be the one to tell the doctor about their life together so far, Jane gave her a slight nod she hadn’t really wanted to tell him anyways. Though this was her idea she was starting to regret it.

“We met at work, I was a little socially awkward but Jane accepted me into her group of friends despite all of my little quirks. For me the attraction was almost immediate I’m not sure about Jane…” She trailed off looking at her girlfriend with questioning eyes.

“I was very much in denial.” Jane said with a small smile.

“Well it was about a year before either of us acted on our feelings and we were together for two years after that.”

Dr. Andrews nodded and jotted some notes down on a pad of paper. “What brings you here to see me?” he asked looking from Jane to Maura. “And this time I want to hear from Jane.”

Jane nodded resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I’m a jealous person. Always have been and Maura well she’s the type of woman who flirts without knowing she’s flirting. I overreacted broke up with her and she slept with someone that night.” She took a deep breath leaned forward in her chair and played with her hands looking anywhere but at either doctors as she continued.

“I have anger issues as well it comes with the job you know? Being around all this death and stuff it really warps your brain. One day I just, I was so angry and I missed Maura so much I just needed an outlet so I went down the morgue and basically forced”

“She didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to, if I didn’t want to have sex I would have pushed you away. I’m not as weak as I look.” Maura said with a small smile attempting to lighten the mood. Jane however was having none of it.

“When did I give you a chance Maura, I’ve never in my life lost control like that and it scares me. I feel like I have to be on my toes around you all the time. I don’t ever want to be that person again.” Jane replied she took Maura’s hand in her own. Both women had completely forgotten the presence of the man.

“That’s why you won’t touch me?” Maura asked with a sigh of relief. “I though it was because of…”

“It has nothing to do with you, because trust me there are times where I just want to take you right where you are standing but I’m afraid of loosing control again.”

Maura smiled softly her girlfriend and squeezed Jane’s hand. “I trust you.”


It actually went a lot better than she had expected, she had shared much more than she ever thought she would somewhere in the time they say on that couch it was like the doctor wasn’t even there it was just Jane and Maura talking and working out their problems with an occasional input from the therapist. She actually felt a lot better and closer to Maura than she had been since all of this started.

“Studies show that if you sigh to much it can add too much noise to the respiratory system and can also throw the system out of whack which could induce a panic attack.” Maura said coming up behind Jane and wrapping her arms around her. Jane turned in Maura’s arms and kissed her lightly on the lips.

“Thank you Google.” Jane laughed, though she teased Maura she had missed Maura’s google speak almost as much as she missed Maura herself

Maura looked away and stepped out of Jane’s embrace. “Sorry.” She mumbled turning to walk out of the bedroom but Jane grabbed her hand and pulled Maura back to her.

“Never be sorry for who you are Maura. I love your google-speak it’s kind of hot ya’ know?”

Maura raised an eyebrow. “How hot?”

Jane smirked and pushed Maura on the bed straddling her. “Extremely hot, surface of the sun hot.” she said before Jane’s lips pressed against Maura’s softly. She kissed the other woman nice and slow not wanting to loose complete control Maura however had other plans. She pulled back from the kiss and looked into Jane’s onyx colored eyes for a long moment before she pulled her own shirt over her head.

“The surface of the sun is approximately 9,940 degrees Fahrenheit.” as she took Jane’s bottom lip between her own biting down on it lightly. As hard as she was trying to push it forward Jane wasn’t allowing it. So Maura leaned back out of the kiss.

“So help me god Jane if you don’t fuck me right now I’m going to do it myself.” Growled Maura.

Jane laughed quietly before she pushed Maura until the other woman was lying on her back. “Language Maura such dirty words shouldn’t be coming from such a beautiful mouth.”

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys but I got another little plot bunny and it wouldn't leave me alone so I got carried away and neglected this fic. And plus I had no idea how to right the therapy scene. anyways leave me some love and tell me what you think, maybe it will get a faster update? lol